RUDY GIULIANI: OK, what’s the goal this week?
RG: Confusion?
WHCD: Yes. You’re proving a master at it.
RG: Is that good?
WHCD: The President likes it, so it’s good.
RG: Likes it? Confusion?
WHCD: It helps his case.
RG: Confusion?
WHCD: Yes. Clarity hurts his case.
RG: OK. Confusion. What am I to do?
WHCD: The crucial year is 2016.
RG: Right. Campaign year.
WHCD: The allegations the President was negotiating with Russians over the Trump tower in Moscow.
RG: Right. The Trump Tower. Is there a Trump Tower?
WHCD: No, there is no tower.
RG: Then what was the discussion?
WHCD: The President was negotiating with the Russians over having the tower.
RG: He was? Negotiating, that is?
WHCD: He was, and he wasn’t.
RG: He was, and he wasn’t. That sounds like it’s contradictory. I think that’s the right word.
WHCD: Forget the word. It’s unimportant.
RG: Then?
WHCD: What is important is to tell the press that he did negotiate right up to the election. And then you also say he didn’t negotiate after January.
RG: Let’s see. He did negotiate up to... that would be November. But he stopped negotiating in January. OK, I think I’ve got that.
WHCD: You let it slip out the other day that you listened to tapes.
RG: I did listen to tapes. You know that.
WHCD: Yes, but you weren’t authorized to talk about tapes.
RG: Not authorized?
WHCD: No, not authorized.
RG: But the president said I had free rein. He told me I was doing a great job for him. Just keep it up. I’m defending him, you know.
WHCD: Yes, I know you mean well.
RG: That sounds kind of lame.
WHCD: Let’s get back to the tapes. They don’t exist.
RG: The tapes don’t exist? Then what was I listening to?
WHCD: You were listening to tapes that don’t exist.
RG: But if I told CNN that I listened to tapes, and the tapes show the President didn’t talk about the Moscow tower, how...
WHCD: You didn’t listen to tapes.
RG: I didn’t listen?
WHCD: Because there are no tapes.
RG: But I already said I listened to tapes.
WHCD: Now you tell CNN that you didn’t listen to tapes, because there are no tapes.
RG: But if they ask about the tapes I said I listened to?
WHCD: You tell them you were mistaken. You didn’t listen to tapes, because there are no tapes.
RG: Let me see if I’ve got this right? No tapes. No tapes. There were tapes. Because I listened to them. But now there are no tapes, because I didn’t listen to them. The President did talk about the tower. But the president didn’t talk about the tower. OK, I think I’m ready.

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